Thursday, June 28, 2007
misery
what made me what i am today? thats what's constantly on my mind. i feel so lost now.
what i am doing, am i doing it right? i feel so inconfident of myself nowadays. i don't know whats going on in me. i hate it. i've very much become a loner. i used to have this circle of friends, they're always there. now? they disappeared. one by one, leaving me. i'm now left with nothing.
they say i've changed. i cannot deny that i did, but think back. haven't you all changed as well. you all don't used to be like that. then you're gonna say everyone change as time pass. WHAT AN EXCUSE. what makes you think that you have the right to change but not me. all i can say is we ALL changed, and we all changed in a way, further apart.
but what i don't understand is, why am i the only one who's going the opposite direction. is it you who's going away from me? or the other way round. it feel so sad to be out of the clique but i'm sure i'll very much get used to it.
i was with the guys today. i feel totally OUTT. i think i'm becoming 'R*N', we don't belong anywhere when in groups. sorry but i don't used to be like that.
its so hard to forget. everytime when i thought i had already forgotten, you seem to pop by once AGAIN w/o fail, leaving me shaking again.